What quarterly one-on-ones taught me about parenting

Hey 🙂

There’s something interesting we miss when it comes to problem-solving.

In business, when something isn’t working, we get help.

We hire people.

We buy tools.

We bring in outside perspective.

In our personal lives, we rarely think that way.

We tend to just cope.

What fascinates me is how many ideas transfer cleanly between business and life — if you’re willing to see them.

Here’s one that might trigger a bit of resistance at first, but stick with me: Quarterly one-on-ones with your kids.

Not as a performance review.

Not as a “let’s fix you” conversation.

The idea comes from The Family Board Meeting by Jim Sheils — a short book I re-read every year to remind myself how important this is.

If you’re familiar with leadership, one-on-ones won’t feel strange to you.

We know how powerful it is to create protected space with a team member.

This is the same principle — applied at home.

The rules are simple:

Once a quarter, one-on-one with each child
No screens. No tech.
The child chooses the activity
You resist the urge to direct or optimise it
You finish with a meal they choose

That’s it.

The common mistakes?

Turning it into a lesson or correction
Taking all the kids together
Doing it as a family activity
Trying to squeeze it in without protecting the time
Never putting it in the calendar

The whole point is depth, not efficiency.

Jim even suggests — gently — that this might be important enough to take a day off school once a quarter, or to plan around holidays properly, rather than hoping it “just happens.”

This year, I did two things differently:

I wrote a letter to both my kids asking them what they want to do on their “daddy day.”
I blocked the time in my calendar for the entire year — the same way I would for important business meetings.

Planning isn’t execution. I know that.

But intention matters.

If you’re a parent and this resonates, I’d strongly recommend picking up The Family Board Meeting. Pour a coffee, read it in half an hour, and think deliberately about the kind of relationship you want with your kids going forward.

Especially as we head into 2026.

Some ideas don’t just transfer from business to life.

They make both better.

Chris.